Chances Of Passing A Drug Test?!?

[Underthesun]

Synthetic urine.

 

[LocalGrowGuy]

Synthetic urine.

It depends on whether the drug tests are monitored or not. Most employers are not allowed to watch so synthetic urine is the answer, the only one that has always worked for me. I have tried the drinks and they don't work, period. Authorities in Colorado consider a diluted urine test to be positive, in my experience it is difficult to take those drinks without getting diluted test results. I believe gubmint and likely transportation jobs would require a screened monitored test.

 

[xavier7995]

It depends on whether the drug tests are monitored or not. Most employers are not allowed to watch so synthetic urine is the answer, the only one that has always worked for me. I have tried the drinks and they don't work, period. Authorities in Colorado consider a diluted urine test to be positive, in my experience it is difficult to take those drinks without getting diluted test results. I believe gubmint and likely transportation jobs would require a screened monitored test.

CO based government jobs don't test nearly as much as you would expect. It seems to depend on the department and job. Health care, prison, electrician/transportation jobs all did, but about 75% of the total positions I saw did not. Department of defense, justice, and transportation looked to do testing for the most part.

 

[Unicorns]

Hes going to pass if its not for the feds anyway. Theyre the only ones who do a no tolerance gas chromatograph. Normal dip test has a margin of acceptance. You can have weed in your system and still pass. So either way hes either good or hes screwed. Screwed if its for the feds. Fine as he stands if not. Thats my .02 unless you are like 500 lbs and dont move you are way good.

I work in Biotech and they do HPLC testing. They can test for the stuff you try screening with.I'm a very heavy smoker but stopped cold turkey. I'm on the heavy side and the THC got into my fat cells. I also stopped for a new job but 6 months after stopping I was failing a simple urine test strip I had bought so I wouldn't ruin my name in the industry had I taken the HPLC testing.

 

[GrowGod]

It depends on whether the drug tests are monitored or not. Most employers are not allowed to watch so synthetic urine is the answer, the only one that has always worked for me. I have tried the drinks and they don't work, period. Authorities in Colorado consider a diluted urine test to be positive, in my experience it is difficult to take those drinks without getting diluted test results. I believe gubmint and likely transportation jobs would require a screened monitored test.

Do they watch for dui therapy class or do they just send you to the room? I got unsupervised probation but random ua's where ever I do the treatment. Lol

 

[3N1GM4]

You could just wear one of these to work every day......

http://www.thewhizzinator.com
Hahahahaha
You could even ask the clerk if they wanted to watch

 

[xavier7995]

You could just wear one of these to work every day......

http://www.thewhizzinator.com
Hahahahaha
You could even ask the clerk if they wanted to watch

A buddy of mine has one and swears by it, poor drunkard can't keep himself off of probation. He always offers to let people borrow it, its the weirdest sounding conversation as he launches right into extolling the virtues of the rubber schlong. "man...i might have to take a drug test next week" "wanna borrow my rubber cock, its great, you can even show up to the test high...no bullshit man..no bullshit."

 

[GrowGod]

You could just wear one of these to work every day......

http://www.thewhizzinator.com
Hahahahaha
You could even ask the clerk if they wanted to watch

Lmao they spot those out easy, the last time I was going on probation I had to do a drug evaluation and they wanted me to give a ua so I had a whizzanator and the guy was so up in my junk called me out on it. Such an odd situation. Told me I can't use it for the ua :love1:

 

[GrowGod]

A buddy of mine has one and swears by it, poor drunkard can't keep himself off of probation. He always offers to let people borrow it, its the weirdest sounding conversation as he launches right into extolling the virtues of the rubber schlong. "man...i might have to take a drug test next week" "wanna borrow my rubber cock, its great, you can even show up to the test high...no bullshit man..no bullshit."

When I bought mine from the head shop he told me its a common practice to rent it out to your friends $25 a day:Dballin

 

[xavier7995]

 

[LocalGrowGuy]

Do they watch for dui therapy class or do they just send you to the room? I got unsupervised probation but random ua's where ever I do the treatment. Lol

They might even pass around a breathalyzer if you take weekend classes. I can't tell you how many people showed up in the morning with booze on their breath but swore up and down they didn't drink.
Any test that you take while under supervision will be monitored to the point that they put mirrors around the urinal, and most definitely make sure you aren't using a whizz. If Intervention is still doing probation in Colorado, good luck, you won't get around the tests.
Random UA's are difficult to beat because even with the drinks you have to be 'toxin free' for 48 hours. I was so mad that they said I couldn't drink I was determined to drink anyway. If you are lucky, or if you are an alcoholic, you might find a short term solution. If you have random UA's then the drinks aren't an option. If you've taken your test for the month you might be okay, but that's a huge risk with no payoff. The drinks will make you feel like shit, counting how many times you piss, then trying to time the next piss with the time clock on how long the drink will be good. All that shit does is mask the thc or elevate levels of creatinine to mask the drug. When I got caught trying the drinks and diluted tests they required me to take disulfuram or antabuse. That was the only thing that got me over the hump. That, and herb. Getting physically sick, an immediate, and painful consquence is what helped me. I cheated every other way. When I couldn't cheat anymore, I gave up. I'm not religious but it was pretty obvious that I had no control and it was time for step one.
GG, you will want to make sure you stay clean, you will get a surprise UA when you complete your exit interview with probation. Even if you never took a drug test, you still have to drop at the end of your probation. This is a great way to violate and extend your supervision. If you don't have access to synthetic urine, I've heard dog piss will work, but collection might be an issue. If not for you then for the neighbor watching you chase your dog around with a cool whip container trying to catch piss. That's a nice image.
My solution was found by going to a facility where they taught classes (Arapahoe County, 2010-2012ish) but only had males on staff certain days. On days when my color was called, I found out when the male was taking lunch, then I showed up to drop a sample. Since this was a standalone site, they didn't have the staff to monitor male and female drug tests, and still have someone up front, plus I kissed ass and brought starbucks, so I was wrongly allowed to take drug tests that were not supervised. Not knowing if this is an option until you walk through the doors sucks. I had times where I would take a drink, and still have the opportunity to use fake piss. I would double up trying to cheat my drug tests. I would use the drink as backup if I couldn't use synthetic piss, and if I was able to use the fake stuff, I still drank the koolaid, so that was fifty bucks wasted, but it wouldn't have worked anyway. That is so astoundingly stupid and embarrassing, but hey, I'm an alcoholic. Calling for my color and then trying to plan when the guy wasn't there was a loser bet. That door was shut when the facility was audited and then they started more intensive monitoring. This was when I would use synthetic urine. Just put it next to your sac and it's all good. Don't throw the fucking bottle away in the bathroom trash, they check. Don't flush, they check.
Most places now make you go through a metal detector, not always an issue unless they tell you to empty your pants. Now is when you wish you bought the boxer briefs with the package pocket in front. Males, even the ghey ones would stay away from that area.

You could just wear one of these to work every day......

http://www.thewhizzinator.com
Hahahahaha
You could even ask the clerk if they wanted to watch

They will confirm you don't have something like this. You are the 10,000th person to dry and use a fake dick. There were so many issues at the place I went (by casa bonita), that they basically made you drop your drawers and show them your junk before and after you pee in the cup.
I can also share that, if you know the right people, or grease the right palm of your PO, that they might ignore or otherwise ignore drug test results, but that's unicorn hunting shit, and if people know, it's too late. My PO was married to a cop. I bet they fucked while discussing arresting people and violating probation. She was a Cee You Next Tuesday for sure.
It's not worth it, none of it is. I spent years of my life trying to figure out how to beat the system that was keeping me down, keeping me sober, telling me what I could or couldn't do. I was asked to find another job after a DUI because I was a bartender. Those power hungry dickless twats are in the business of keeping you in the system. Probation, classes, fines, none of that is designed to treat addiction or cure sickness. All it does is encourage poor behavior. Your PO is not interested in you getting sober, they are interested in their own job. Your sobriety means nothing to anyone else but you.
Playing 'what the fuck happened last night' gets old. Fortunately I was able to quit before I hurt anyone but myself physically and the rest of my family emotionally. I don't mind being around booze, I mind drunks and despise being around them. Having the same conversation ten times isn't as fun when you are sober and talking to a drunken fool.
That said, I'd still wake up and drive someone home if I got the phone call at last call. I hope I didn't give any of you dicks my number.
Debbie Downer, out.

 

[GrowGod]

They might even pass around a breathalyzer if you take weekend classes. I can't tell you how many people showed up in the morning with booze on their breath but swore up and down they didn't drink.
Any test that you take while under supervision will be monitored to the point that they put mirrors around the urinal, and most definitely make sure you aren't using a whizz. If Intervention is still doing probation in Colorado, good luck, you won't get around the tests.
Random UA's are difficult to beat because even with the drinks you have to be 'toxin free' for 48 hours. I was so mad that they said I couldn't drink I was determined to drink anyway. If you are lucky, or if you are an alcoholic, you might find a short term solution. If you have random UA's then the drinks aren't an option. If you've taken your test for the month you might be okay, but that's a huge risk with no payoff. The drinks will make you feel like shit, counting how many times you piss, then trying to time the next piss with the time clock on how long the drink will be good. All that shit does is mask the thc or elevate levels of creatinine to mask the drug. When I got caught trying the drinks and diluted tests they required me to take disulfuram or antabuse. That was the only thing that got me over the hump. That, and herb. Getting physically sick, an immediate, and painful consquence is what helped me. I cheated every other way. When I couldn't cheat anymore, I gave up. I'm not religious but it was pretty obvious that I had no control and it was time for step one.
GG, you will want to make sure you stay clean, you will get a surprise UA when you complete your exit interview with probation. Even if you never took a drug test, you still have to drop at the end of your probation. This is a great way to violate and extend your supervision. If you don't have access to synthetic urine, I've heard dog piss will work, but collection might be an issue. If not for you then for the neighbor watching you chase your dog around with a cool whip container trying to catch piss. That's a nice image.
My solution was found by going to a facility where they taught classes (Arapahoe County, 2010-2012ish) but only had males on staff certain days. On days when my color was called, I found out when the male was taking lunch, then I showed up to drop a sample. Since this was a standalone site, they didn't have the staff to monitor male and female drug tests, and still have someone up front, plus I kissed ass and brought starbucks, so I was wrongly allowed to take drug tests that were not supervised. Not knowing if this is an option until you walk through the doors sucks. I had times where I would take a drink, and still have the opportunity to use fake piss. I would double up trying to cheat my drug tests. I would use the drink as backup if I couldn't use synthetic piss, and if I was able to use the fake stuff, I still drank the koolaid, so that was fifty bucks wasted, but it wouldn't have worked anyway. That is so astoundingly stupid and embarrassing, but hey, I'm an alcoholic. Calling for my color and then trying to plan when the guy wasn't there was a loser bet. That door was shut when the facility was audited and then they started more intensive monitoring. This was when I would use synthetic urine. Just put it next to your sac and it's all good. Don't throw the fucking bottle away in the bathroom trash, they check. Don't flush, they check.
Most places now make you go through a metal detector, not always an issue unless they tell you to empty your pants. Now is when you wish you bought the boxer briefs with the package pocket in front. Males, even the ghey ones would stay away from that area.

They will confirm you don't have something like this. You are the 10,000th person to dry and use a fake dick. There were so many issues at the place I went (by casa bonita), that they basically made you drop your drawers and show them your junk before and after you pee in the cup.
I can also share that, if you know the right people, or grease the right palm of your PO, that they might ignore or otherwise ignore drug test results, but that's unicorn hunting shit, and if people know, it's too late. My PO was married to a cop. I bet they fucked while discussing arresting people and violating probation. She was a Cee You Next Tuesday for sure.
It's not worth it, none of it is. I spent years of my life trying to figure out how to beat the system that was keeping me down, keeping me sober, telling me what I could or couldn't do. I was asked to find another job after a DUI because I was a bartender. Those power hungry dickless twats are in the business of keeping you in the system. Probation, classes, fines, none of that is designed to treat addiction or cure sickness. All it does is encourage poor behavior. Your PO is not interested in you getting sober, they are interested in their own job. Your sobriety means nothing to anyone else but you.
Playing 'what the fuck happened last night' gets old. Fortunately I was able to quit before I hurt anyone but myself physically and the rest of my family emotionally. I don't mind being around booze, I mind drunks and despise being around them. Having the same conversation ten times isn't as fun when you are sober and talking to a drunken fool.
That said, I'd still wake up and drive someone home if I got the phone call at last call. I hope I didn't give any of you dicks my number.
Debbie Downer, out.

Wow wow a lot of that foes t apply tome I'm in there for a weed dwai which is fucking bs because everyone else was practically blacked out. Not fair.

 

[LocalGrowGuy]

You need clean pee. are synthetic pee..everything else is a myth...you can drink about 3 gallons of water before text...buts it's hard to do...lol..trust me...I did that year's ago weed didn't show up...but the cocaine did...haha...it sucks I remember when there wasn't drug test...I got hurt on the job straight to hospital no drug text...it's all about the money!!!

I forgot to mention that workers comp cases would usually require a drug screen, and benefits would be reduced by 50%.

well I took my drug test yesterday. my new company should be receiving the redults by today. 58 days clean and I ate a little clean and exercised. If I dont pass it then I must have the slowest metabolism ever!

I think you'll be fine.

Wow wow a lot of that foes t apply tome I'm in there for a weed dwai which is fucking bs because everyone else was practically blacked out. Not fair.

Did they draw blood roadside or at the facility? I think weed dui's are difficult to prove assuming you have competent counsel, but if you are over the 5ng limit things get difficult.

I didn't mean to infer that 'our' stories are the same, I was sharing my experience and nothing more.

Did you plea or did they offer one? What was your ultimate sentence? I'm curious but I understand if you'd rather not share.

I thought it was funny that I had to take substance abuse classes while holding my red card. Interesting conversations with non red-card holders. I should have been in math class not drug class.

 

[GrowGod]

I forgot to mention that workers comp cases would usually require a drug screen, and benefits would be reduced by 50%.

I think you'll be fine.

Did they draw blood roadside or at the facility? I think weed dui's are difficult to prove assuming you have competent counsel, but if you are over the 5ng limit things get difficult.

I didn't mean to infer that 'our' stories are the same, I was sharing my experience and nothing more.

Did you plea or did they offer one? What was your ultimate sentence? I'm curious but I understand if you'd rather not share.

I thought it was funny that I had to take substance abuse classes while holding my red card. Interesting conversations with non red-card holders. I should have been in math class not drug class.

I stupidly refused because I knew I was over the 5 ng limit. And a refusal is admitting guilt. "I didn't really understand this when I ws oil over.
My deal is a differed mis. With 75 hours public service, 24 dui education hours 52 dui therapy hours , 2 hours madd class and unsupervised probation. But I am subject to random ua's throughout my therapy:)
The place I'm doing my classes at now is real strict on the ua's they impose ua's even if the court doesn't ask for it but it's only 10$ a class. So now I'm looking for a different place to do my classes.
If all else fails I have a doctor who will write me a script for marinol which is how my wife cheefed through probation :smoking:

 

[LocalGrowGuy]

I refused a DUI breath test as well when I was shit housed. It isn't an automatic guilty verdict, the one year suspension is a penalty for refusing a chemical test, but it does not make you automatically guilty. You still have a suspension on your license, and it is likely they will require an ignition interlock in order to get reinstated. The shitty thing is, you can actually appeal that automatic one year suspension, but you only have seven days to do so. I was sitting behind bars during that time, and appealing that is not something they want people to know, so I missed the boat. That appeal is difficult to 'win' unless you are able to show that you were not under the influence.
I would also refuse a road side chemical or breath test, and I would decline the 9 steps etc, as every cop writes on the ticket that you have watery eyes and slurred speech. Because they can and you will find it to be nearly impossible to question or otherwise counter that statement. Take me to a hospital and take all the fluids you want, but I'm not going to let a power hungry traffic cop practice phlebotomy roadside on me. Screw you spellcheck that's legit.
Sometimes I think I judge cops harshly, then I see things like this:

 

[GrowGod]

I did the appeal and lost lol. When I got pulled over the pig smelt a very strong odor of burnt MJ in the car"because I smoked a joint in there the night before" I was high no doubt but I had also just ate and this assjole writes in the report he could smell the mj on my breath! Lieing ass cop. Then I found out at the dmv hearing he's had 738 dui convictions only ever lost 1. And he was a drug recognition expert and teaches the classes.

 

[LocalGrowGuy]

I did the appeal and lost lol. When I got pulled over the pig smelt a very strong odor of burnt MJ in the car"because I smoked a joint in there the night before" I was high no doubt but I had also just ate and this assjole writes in the report he could smell the mj on my breath! Lieing ass cop. Then I found out at the dmv hearing he's had 738 dui convictions only ever lost 1. And he was a drug recognition expert and teaches the classes.

Well that's shitty. I've seen police reports that have probable cause being 'green colored material' in the drivers mouth. Sorry for your issues.

 

[GrowGod]

Well that's shitty. I've seen police reports that have probable cause being 'green colored material' in the drivers mouth. Sorry for your issues.

Lol not a single piece of evidence in the car:( just got the wrong cop on the wrong day.